Stress talking

So, as you all know, it is the dreadful final exam period again! Hooray! I'm being sarcastic okay! That explained the hibernation of my lovely blog.

Where do I start... Ok, let's just get the complaints about final exam out of the way first. I have four final exams, 27th, 28th, 7th and 8th. I was quite worried for the 27th, brain and cognition, all the brain parts and its functions in human cognition, gosh so complicated and so many names and technical terms but I managed to actually covered all of the lectures and understood 90% of them, well I assumed 90 so the exam went well.

I was very confident with the 28th's, it is abnormal psychology. To be honest, I found the lectures quite boring so I stopped turning up for lectures, I'm not sure if I regret it though coz apparently the exam essay question that I screwed up, it wasn't covered in the lectures but was pulled out from the textbook which I totally forgot to read. So obviously I didn't fully study for abnormal and I totally screwed up the exam. Wanna know how? Allows me to amuse you! I write the symptoms of psychopathy based on my 'knowledge' obtained from watching the Mentalist and Criminal Minds. FML! I'm so dead!!!!! OMG! what the heck is wrong with me?!! I must not repeat the same mistake ever again. Yeah right, I know this is the worst habit of mine and I'll never change until one day it really actually breaks me and I really hope that day will not come. Am I making sense to you? No? Nevermind then.

And guess what, I watch desperate housewives when I'm studying! Oh F! I'm playing with fire, on the edge of throwing my bright future away. I don't want to boast but everything always (ALWAYS) turns out fine. I really can't imagine how I'm gonna cope if this really really goes wrong. depression? self-inflicted harm? antisocial? suicidal thoughts?

After exam, I went to play badminton, I was in pretty good condition. I'm not sure if my friends were being nice or I'm actually pretty good. LOL. But badminton really took my mind of the awful exam things. I'm so gonna get sore arm tomorrow! Have to pay the price for not exercising regularly.

Tomorrow morning, my korean friend's church is having a garage sale, I want to go but I have a picnic to go at 10am... that means I need to get up at 9pm!

Oh I been thinking.... I FREAKING WANT A BABY! I'm well aware this is stressed talking so please don't take this too seriously. But yes I want a baby, baby is so cute, they smile like an angel and they are gift from God. I think you think I'm losing my mind... better not make things worse, so I'm gonna stop here. I WANT BABY!

minor depression or pure laziness?

Okay, now I'm not sure which one makes me feel better.

I been sleeping for long hours for weeks. I have lost interest in psychology and mathematics. I also lost my appetite of eating. Although I am excited to see food most of the time, I only have one meal a day and surprisingly I am happy with that and do not complain that I am hungry later on the day. I can't sleep at night and don't want to wake up in the morning. I get irritated easily. I don't feel like talking to people. I been having my music on really loud in my earphone and sad songs actually soothed me. I been having dreams every night and mostly were unpleasant dream. I think of alcohol almost everyday.

Do all these sound like a mild depression symptoms to you? But wait, there are more.

I got up around 11pm, I still go to the compulsory lab at night, I walked there (oddly). I haven't been to lectures for weeks now. hmm. I actually feel like want to eat burger today and I'm meeting up a friend. I enjoyed night out with my friend last Saturday, Korean church thing and Movie! I also had fun at karaoke with chopsticks chefs though I was the only girl and I didn't drink this time. I'm actually looking forward to go on my backpacking trip to North Island and going back to Malaysia and go on Taiwan trip. I really want to go clubbing to shake off that extra layer of fat. So it seems like I enjoy everything beside study and eating?

Now these sound like laziness to me. What do you say?

I beg you, whoever who is with me and see me, please give me a slap in the face as hard as you can. I give you the permission, I'm not kidding. I really don't want to screw up my life and my future.

Right now I'm starting to get motivated to study. Should really start before it's too late.