I have a 25% 2000 words essay dues in 88 hours but I have no clue what I am going to write, only found like 3 articles that are sort of related and I am procrastinating right now.
I think I am starting to develop bulimia nervosa. Last week I started my diet, only eat half of the dinner I usually had and the half for lunch. I was really happy, because not only I am losing weight, I am saving money too. But then I realized, I have two days that I indulged like crazy and I felt like shit the next day and wanted to induce myself to vomit or exercise hard-out. Yesterday I caught up with a friend and she insisted to buy me lunch and she ordered a lot of food, I feel bad and happy on the same time, but still indulged. And today I am so seriously depressed. Every depressing things start popping up in my mind, I only felt a little better after I exercised and sauna, but I am still very disappointed with myself and I am thinking of whatever way to get all the food I ate yesterday out of my body. I'm thinking laxative drinks or whatever.
What have I got myself into. I thought I have found something I can do other than keep pounding on the thoughts of someone and the future. But now I got in too deep and I don't want to stop. All I can think of is lose weight, get fit, eat less, spend less, exercise, I'm so occupied with these till I can't be bother with my essay. This is obsession. But it's only been two weeks, nothing to be worried about, it's just temporary obsession, I will get over it, right? I do hope so.
I think I am starting to develop bulimia nervosa. Last week I started my diet, only eat half of the dinner I usually had and the half for lunch. I was really happy, because not only I am losing weight, I am saving money too. But then I realized, I have two days that I indulged like crazy and I felt like shit the next day and wanted to induce myself to vomit or exercise hard-out. Yesterday I caught up with a friend and she insisted to buy me lunch and she ordered a lot of food, I feel bad and happy on the same time, but still indulged. And today I am so seriously depressed. Every depressing things start popping up in my mind, I only felt a little better after I exercised and sauna, but I am still very disappointed with myself and I am thinking of whatever way to get all the food I ate yesterday out of my body. I'm thinking laxative drinks or whatever.
What have I got myself into. I thought I have found something I can do other than keep pounding on the thoughts of someone and the future. But now I got in too deep and I don't want to stop. All I can think of is lose weight, get fit, eat less, spend less, exercise, I'm so occupied with these till I can't be bother with my essay. This is obsession. But it's only been two weeks, nothing to be worried about, it's just temporary obsession, I will get over it, right? I do hope so.
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