What do you think how I feel? I study psychology and through it, I realized I have a psychological disorder.
Yes, I diagnosed myself as having mild philophobia. I am just afraid of emotional attachment from the male species. There is this human who is my friend and we have been in the blurry realm for years. I am happy with that until recently he is getting a tad bit too attached to me, at least that's what I feel. Then I started to have the urge to push him away. This is not the first time. I been pushing him away whenever we are slowly stepping out from the blurry zone. And probably this phobia is also responsible for my many short relationships. In the past, I never failed to find a lame excuse to breakup with a guy and I didn't feel heartbroken at all! Not once at all! Yeah, I know I showed sadness to some of you after a breakup but to be honest, it was just my act of making myself to believe I am not that cold-blooded. Only things I felt were that I lost something I really like but on the same time relieved and also slight guilt to the God. I know myself, whenever I got someone I like or went out with someone, I started to look out for flaws in them, even if I really liked them and I can't find any flaws in them, I created them. Whenever someone try to tell me he loves me, I will think of a way to prove that they do not. I been telling friends that I don't want to have serious relationships, prefer flings and my dream is to be like Barney but female version.
Oh my god, I think I have more than just mild philophobia, my conditions are really bad!
Maybe I should consider getting a professional help from a trained psychologist
Yes, I diagnosed myself as having mild philophobia. I am just afraid of emotional attachment from the male species. There is this human who is my friend and we have been in the blurry realm for years. I am happy with that until recently he is getting a tad bit too attached to me, at least that's what I feel. Then I started to have the urge to push him away. This is not the first time. I been pushing him away whenever we are slowly stepping out from the blurry zone. And probably this phobia is also responsible for my many short relationships. In the past, I never failed to find a lame excuse to breakup with a guy and I didn't feel heartbroken at all! Not once at all! Yeah, I know I showed sadness to some of you after a breakup but to be honest, it was just my act of making myself to believe I am not that cold-blooded. Only things I felt were that I lost something I really like but on the same time relieved and also slight guilt to the God. I know myself, whenever I got someone I like or went out with someone, I started to look out for flaws in them, even if I really liked them and I can't find any flaws in them, I created them. Whenever someone try to tell me he loves me, I will think of a way to prove that they do not. I been telling friends that I don't want to have serious relationships, prefer flings and my dream is to be like Barney but female version.
Oh my god, I think I have more than just mild philophobia, my conditions are really bad!
Maybe I should consider getting a professional help from a trained psychologist
4 comments:
I didn't know there was actually a name for that :O
i am one of the philophobics too, mainly because having emotional attachment means sucky goodbyes and broken hearts...
so i try to be distant, but sometimes i think I just can't help it :/
even with my "tough outer layer"
you can be my psychologist when you get your license cath ;)
miss youuuu<3
Dude, I think we all have a certain level of this within all of us. :O
Even me, I find it incredibly hard to be close to anyone, I am extremely scared of forming relationships. I mistrust people most time
:(
It's something that happens naturally to me, I have no idea what to do with it. I can't help it.
Hmmnn....
Btw, I like you 'Life Goals' section, I should make one for myself, would help me be more focused in life.
i love your life missions cath haha! it's awesome, you're definitely having all of that! i believe in you ;)
26 year old - get married and reunite with your weird awesome friends.
I dont know much but i feel the same way too, i think it's pretty scary commiting into something serious, but i think once you're in the "zone", it'll be alright.
But i've always known you were really alright with breaking up with those guys haha. you so tough cathy. be my psychologist, i need help.
WHAT! FEMALE BARNEY!! HAHAHAH do you really wanna be a pedophile now?!
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